Thursday, April 19, 2012

Zombie Thursday

Long day.  Long day.  I am so very, very tired...

The entire collection of Things, the hubby & I stayed up late last night telling family stories & generally goofing around...Thing 1 darted off in her scion sometime after 11 & shortly after midnight Cecilia {the house} had closed for the night & her residents were all snug in their beds.

Printed Pillowcases Black on white cotton Sleep Tight Don't Let the Bedbugs Bite
Pillow Case Set

I had taken a benadryl {allergies are particularly bad 'round these parts this time o'year} so I did not so much drift off to dreamland as slam into the slumber zone & was gone to the world until suddenly & without warning I woke up.  For no reason.

I looked at my phone which doubles as my alarm clock & plays this to wake me up ...


{get it?  my alarm?  Awake my Soul?...I like to wake up feeling clever}

...and a big blue eery icky 3:03 was glaring back at me.  I set it back down.  I settled back against my pillows.  I proceeded not to sleep.

Left side...nope...right side...flip the pillow...shove off the duvet...pull duvet back up...left side...I am now vigorously not sleeping.  In fact, I would say I have become an avid & dedicated non-sleeper.  I look at my phone...
4:2ACK.  I drop it without committing to the final minute because somehow not knowing what followed the 2 made things a wee smidge better. 'If I get to sleep now,' I tell my brain using my sweetest inner monologue voice, 'I can get 2 hours & a handful of minutes sleep to add to the 2.5ish I had gotten earlier. Pwetty, pwetty pwease?'  My brain chuckles evilly.  I start to panic...

Left side...nope...right side...fluff the pillow...flatten the pillow.  Still not sleeping.  Toss...turn....roll over & ah hell the damn zombies are coming in the window again.

Eco-friendly, Hand-stitched, Zombeh Kitteh
Bad Zombeh Kitteh Its Meh Sleepy Time

I can not adequately explain how deeply annoyed I was.  I needed desperately to get to sleep & here I was having to contend with zombies.  Damn undead jerks.  "Seriously," I whine to the hubs, "how many times do we have to deal with this?"  I roll my eyes.  I shake my head.   I thwack one of 'em as it tries to bite my knee.  Thing 3 pointed out that it wasn't dead, so she smacked it with a particularly hefty fashion magazine...

1970s Vintage Fashion Magazines- Set of 3 Harper's Bazaar
Vintage Harper's Bazaar Magazines

...which seriously ticks me off as I have not yet read said mag & now I wasn't going to be able to because it was covered in zombie goo.  I chastise Thing 3.  Just because there are zombies doesn't mean we should forget what is really important.  I advise her to use the dictionary instead because in this day & age no one needs a dictionary anyway.  Kids.  They can be worse than the zombies.

At this point, the undead are seriously piling up in the bedroom which truly upsets me nearly to tears because not only had I lost that precious 2 hours & a handful of minutes of sleep which obviously meant I was going to be exhausted at work NOW I was going to have to come home & steam clean the freakin' bedroom carpet to get the smell out.  They were particularly oozy zombies, if it all weren't bad enough, & OH MY GOD THING TWO IS WEARING HIS TRACK SPIKES INSIDE.  I swear I almost let the little zombie on the bookshelf nibble Thing 2s shoulder just to show him but then I remember our insurance wouldn't cover it so I chuck my slipper at the zombie instead.

Damn.

Zombies.

The hubs decides that its time to bring in the machinery which further agitates me because I don't understand why on earth he wouldn't have let me know he had zombie fighting equipment in his sock drawer.  He pulls out the wind up tank & a few matchbox cars & tells me to get into the one that looks something like the  AT-AT Walkers from Empire Strikes Back only it has a lovely, shiny, beige & tan stripe pattern & I'm thinking after I crush the zombies with it I might turn it into a nightstand...

File:Battlehothesb.JPG
Look at those zombie crushin' tootsies & the neat-o laser thing & to think my man had it in his sock drawer...no wonder I love him so

I climb in & it starts right up zip zip.  So much fun to drive *thump* creeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaakkkkk *thump* creeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaakkkkk I think I'll drive it to work.  &  look it even has a built in featherbed, which I climb in to.  Bliss.  Then it hits me.  I'm sleeping!  Oh thank god I don't know what I would have done if I hadn't been able to fall asleep & here I am dreaming about zombies which is weird but hey its sleep and how awesome is that...

oh crap.

& just like that I was awake.

2.5 hours of benadryl sleep. 45 minutes of zombie fighting.

So you will have to forgive me, I'm going to bed.

And if the zombies come in don't call me cos I don't give a damn.